My Grandpa Mark Dahl passed away on March 29, 1997-ten years ago today. I wanted to write something special about my Grandpa. I have so many vivid memories of him, they have not faded with time.
I was 18 years old when he passed away. He was only 74. We lost him because of a rare form of cancer had developed in his lungs. He flew airplanes in World War 2. He was a pilot and flew a Lancaster Bomber. These planes were lined with Asbestos and he inhaled it. The asbestos lay dormant in his lungs for almost 50 years and then turned into lung cancer. I can't remember the technical name of this cancer but apparently other veterans have also lost their lives with the same form of cancer- still a causality of war so many years later.
Anyway at 18 years,I was "young and confused" in so many ways, I had so few constants at that time of my life that losing Grandpa was really rough- he being such a "rock" for me. He was always around for us.
Don't get me wrong, he was a very busy man. He was a doctor in Magrath for 45 years. An article in the Lethbridge Herald referred to him as," a quintessential country doctor, a Marcus-Welby-type physician who typified the traditional country doctor".I knew that I could find Grandpa in obvious places like the Magrath and then the Dahl Clinic or the Hospital,on a house call or out to one of the hutterite colonies( often Rockport or Old Elm- I had the chance to accompany him on numerous colony visits). If he wasn't at work then it was a pretty safe bet I could find him at home, downstairs sitting at the end of that little orange couch with the coloured Afghan on it. He was either watching the news or Star Trek or snoozing away. If it was nice out, there was a good chance he would be on his ride-on mower in his yard or in one of his kids yards( either my dad's, Allan's or Dennis's). If he was in the kitchen, he was always sitting at the end of the kitchen table with his back to the fridge .He might have been eating or reading the paper but there was ALWAYS a bright red can of coke in front of him,(compliments of that old white freezer in their garage with the never ending supply of coke and sometimes chocolate bars.).
Other vivid memories of grandpa are as follows:
Suspenders, briefcases with RMD on them,nice leather coats, walking sticks, chocolate malts in Cardston, doctors bag, the spontaneous coyote call he made with his hands and mouth, watching basketball games, going to movies , collection of sports illustrated, rocks- he loved rocks, dairy queen treats, going out to eat, at grandma days he would say" are your eyes bigger than your stomach", picture books of bomber planes from previous wars, waterton, hiking bears hump and hearing his infamous coyote call somewhere along the trail and for sure at the top, his black framed old person bike, (the one that came in a matching set with grandma's), his named stamped into all his books, oh I could go on..........
Grandpa was an example of selflessness. He had such a humble and quiet way about him as daily served his family, his patients and the community. I learned a few things about Grandpa (from people seeking me out to tell me stories of him after he had passed). I learned that Grandpa was known to drive into Lethbridge(from Magrath) in the middle of the night after receiving a phone call from an intoxicated person to drive them safely home. On the day he died, we were all at his house looking at pictures and grieving together. The doorbell rang and an older Native women was standing on the door step. She told me that she had just driven all the way from the reserve because she had a bad feeling about"Dr. Mark" and needed to know if he was ok. I told her that we lost him that morning and she just stood on the steps and wept.
I also remember a time when I was doing my practicum on the Blood Reserve( for my social work degree). I was participating in a community march through the town of Standoff( Family Violence Awareness). I was walking with a Native women and we were just making idle chit chat. She found out I was a Dahl from Magrath, and that Dr. Mark was my grandfather.She began to cry and then proceeded to tell me how much she loved him and how difficult it was for her to find another doctor after he passed, she then decided that she needed to tell everyone around who I was related to. For the rest of that march people kept coming to tell me more and more stories about Grandpa. That women from the march always came and gave me a hug and was sooo kind every time she saw me after that day.
Some of you may remember the beautiful German song that dozens of Hutterite women stood up and sang in the middle of the funeral. I also remember the funeral director telling us that this was the biggest funeral they had ever done.The lines wrapped around the entire stake center (during the viewing) and the chapel and gym were filled to the back. I was also told that the year that Grandpa died, there was more than one little hutterite boy named Mark after him.
My little boy is also named after him.
I love my Grandpa, I think about him often and love to tell my kids stories about him. Maci says that she knows she met him in Heaven and laughs when she hears stories of him eating worms and making coyote calls. I miss him everyday. I love you Grandpa Mark-
love Meghann
Please feel free to post in the comments section any thoughts , feelings and memories you have about Grandpa Mark . Also pass on this link to anyone else you may have want to share in this tribute. I want to send this to Grandma Helen .
15 comments:
Wish he happy in Paradise!
Regards. Younger Leo Blog
Meg,Thanks so much for such a touching tribute. Mark was our doctor long before I married your Dad. I shed a few tears reading your thoughts. I will never forget the little sketches he drew for the kids to explain their illnesses,stitches etc. He truly was "the quintessential family doctor". Sometimes I can see Mark when I look at your Dad, or see him when DeVar makes a "sketch of explanation", but mostly his spirit lives on in the kindness and generosity of spirit that DeVar and you show to others. And when Maci cries her little heart out at "Charlotte's Web", she has inherited her sensitivity and caring from her Mom,Grandpa and Great Grandpa Mark. There is a quote that says
"Death ends a life but not a relationship". Thanks for helping us all to remember. Lesley
Megs, I loved this tribute. I write this with tears in my eyes and a very full heart, and I appreciate the wonderful opportunity to reflect on Grandpa Mark's life and to think about all of my happy memories with him. I'm grateful everyday to be related to such an incredible man, and look forward to the day when we can meet again.
I wish I could match what you said, Meg, but let me add that whenever I see old airplanes on tv or in a book or on the shelf in a hobbyshop, I always look for a lancaster to hold up and say "My grandpa flew one of these in World War 2."
A few of my memories are watching Star Trek with him and Ian while eating oreos, stealing cokes from the fridge, him cleaning and rebandaging my arm when I broke it, and how he would always win the senior division of the Magrath Day Bike race, generally because he was the only one entered.
He always treated everyone with love, no matter what they did or who they were.
And try as I might, I've never been able to find just the right kind of Wonton Soup since he died.
Chaim you reminded me of one more thing that is so" Grandpa" the Golden Bridge( chinese restraut in Lethbridge)
a girl I knew growing up named her little boy Dahl. I wonder if they rae related to you- her name is Stacey Saunders- Salmon now.
Your words are touching and heartfelt. Your grandpa was our family Dr. along with your uncle. A great man he IS still!
I am writing this after a day of having a yahrzeit candle burning thinking of Mark, whom I called Dad for almost twenty years. It is so special to have a daughter like Meghann, who has the compassion and thoughts and ability to express herself so eloquently to all of us. Meghann spent a lot of time with Granpa those last days in the hospital, she was our link to the rest of the family in Alberta. I relish the ability to put down in words some of the thoughts I have had dancing in my brain all of these years. One could say so much about Mark, that the Internet couldn’t hold the vibes, the love, and the memories. We meet so few truly great people in life, and I think Mark was one of those people. A humble farmer’s son, a soldier, a healer, a father, and a husband, Mark Dahl was complex in his simplicity.
Before I go into specific memories of Dad, I want to say that no person can achieve the degree of greatness that he did, without the love, support, and absolute devotion of a partner like Helen. Helen was always there for Mark, she was there with him, in every way. I smile even now thinking of the long schleps to Alaska, the movies when maybe she wanted to listen to CBC, the quirky obsessions of Star Trek, classic coke, and climbing Bear’s Hump or Old Chief. Helen has always been a defender and celebrant of Mark and his accomplishments, and of course, they were her accomplishments as well. I hope all who read this know how remarkable Helen is, and without her, Mark Dahl would not have been Mark Dahl.
So many thoughts….the day the family came to see Ian, he was several days old, Mark ceremoniously walked into the apartment and picked up the 6 pound boy, his first grandson…that was remarkable. The first Ag Expo, with Ian about 14 months old, and how it became an annual event for the three of us. I still marvel at the hours spent looking at tractors, nodding at farmers, and looking at seed displays. Tromping through the moors of Yorkshire, looking for the exact Quonset hut battered by the years, that he worked in while in the service during the war. Going to Israel, having him take us all from the original tour group and finding a better, smarter tour guide who took us to the wonders of the country….crawling around Tel Dan looking for shards and rocks which we collected to create a display when we returned to Canada…And coke…Meghann mentioned coke. When Coke announced that NEW COKE was going to replace CLASSIC COKE, Mark went to the Trading Company and filled the garage with cases of coke. One day when visiting his grave, we placed a can of coke on his marker, I always think of him when I see a red can.
Mark delivered Chaim Mark and Bronwyn. People couldn’t believe my father-in-law delivered my kids…who better? Those babies were caught by their grandfather, cleaned off and given to me by Mark, what an amazing bond was created.
And Meghann mentioned mowing lawns…Mark mowed lawns whenever he could. One Christmas day he was absolutely thrilled to get out the mower during unusually good weather. Another time, he and I each took a mower and did the entire acreage between ours, Dennis’s and Allan’s house, we mowed into the dark, it started to rain, we kept on mowing, I didn’t dare stop, he kept me going—that was how he motivated us, subtly and with purpose.
The saddest I ever saw Mark was when Eugene died. The day after his younger brother was killed, we were driving over the coulee by the Mennonite farm, Mark stopped the car and we got out to look at redwing blackbirds. He told me how much he would miss Eugene, that this was not something he had ever expected he would endure. How he loved his brother and sisters. What a loving family, I never heard them speak ill of one another, and to this day, when I see them, I am embraced as a family member.
Mark stayed in touch with us until he died. He and Helen would drive thousands of miles to see us, he treated Joe like a beloved friend, and included him in our visits, and never once, not ever, did he express to me judgment for the decisions I made to leave Magrath. I called him before he went to the hospital, he was still at the office, he told me he wasn’t afraid, he sounded more peeved than worried—he still had things to do.
The day Dad died, Ian had called me that morning (before we knew), and told me had a vivid dream of Granpa reaching toward him, and Ian was unable to grab on. The minute I hung up the phone, Meg called to tell me Granpa was gone.
Mark was the only steady father I ever had in my life. I miss him, yet I still feel his presence—especially when I spy a redwinged blackbird.
shirley
Thanks Meg for doing this. It is a great time to reflect and really think about all of the things Grandpa did for us. I loved him a lot and still do. He was such a great man. I love going to the Dahl clinic or the hospital and seeing his picture on the wall. It makes me so proud to call him my Grandpa!
Thanks Ang
that is a great fabulous story about the McD's burgers, i feel like I have learned even more about grandpa from doing this than I already knew. love meg
Meghann, it is a few days since you put this tribute up. On Thursday, I would start to read it before a class and found I had to stop so I could start the class with some degree of composure.
Dad, Grandpa Mark, was great influence on all of us.
As I think about it now something that I learned 10 years ago was how the "circle of life "goes. Dad was always very much a father and a patriarch in our family. During the last few weeks of his life, he did not like to watch television, carry on a conversation or do any of the things he used to do. His mind just wasn't clear enough.
Something that he did enjoy was having a National Geographic shown to him. I would sit with him and show him pictures of animals, birds, and plants. We would look at the colours and the shapes. Dad liked this and so we spent quite a bit of time doing it. I was happy to do it but felt saddened at the role reversal. I wasn't ready for my dad to be in this condition.Ten years later I'm still not ready and miss him and wish he were here.
Thanks Meg,
Love Dad
Meghann
What an amazing experience! I was able to access these messages too and they are all great to read!
What talented descendants the Lord blessed us with!
Yes Mark and I always agreed on how to handle the kids. We both thought that kids have rights [and I thot that parents did too so I ran out of patience sooner than he did]
However we really did put all our kids first, and have travelled many miles to watch them in action
Being a widow for 10 yrs is not easy, but knowing the Plan of Salvation as I do, it does take the sting out of death, and working in the temple 18 hrs /week makes me feel closer to Mark.
As we do work for those who have gone on be4, and couldn't do it for themselves, they are happy for us to do their work[make covenenats] vicariously for them so they can progress in the next life
I didn't want this too be such a long message I gues that I can never be anything but LONG WINDED
Love from GHHD and GGHHD
hey megs,
i'm writing this reply a few days after your tribute as well. thank you so much for reminding me of all these wonderful memories. grandpa truly was a great man and such an example of what we should all want to become. I know that he is still concerned for us and loves us all. Often, i find myself doing something and wondering if grandpa is watching me. I know he is as is always watching over all of us. Like grandma, the plan of salvation definitely mekes this an easier trial to deal with, and I too can't wait for the day to see him again.
thanks again,
karli
I never had the opportunity of meeting Mark Dahl - He died before I met Meghann. But the memory his life impacts my family everyday, so I feel I should say something.
Concerning my own grandfather (who died before I was born) a Bishop once commented to my Grandmother that the influence of his life will be seen through the good works of those whom he associated with. I believe the same to be true of Mark Dahl.
The kindness and compassion that my wife shows everyday to our family, and to many others, is largely a function of Grandpa Dahl's impact on her life. Grandpa Dahl lived a life that reflected the inherent goodness of humanity. Meghann’s ability to look for the good in people, especially those in marginalized circumstances, reflects his life of service and unconditional love.
Maci often exhibits a quiet but tender reverence toward Grandpa Mark. She recognizes the impact that he had on her mother’s life, but individually feels a certain closeness with him, and a comfort in his memory. She loves hearing the stories that her Mother tells about him and growing up in Magrath. Perhaps, at times, the veil is thin, and although we may not see our loved ones who have departed from this life, undeniably their personal influence can be felt – on a much more real level than a fading, albeit pleasant memory. Whatever the source, it is clear to me that my little girl has a personal relationship with her Grandpa.
All that I can say to Mark Dahl is thank you. You have truly shaped the lives of those most dear to me. For that I will always be grateful.
Meg, thank you so much for doing this tribute. I too have tears running down my face as I read everyones thought and memories of Dad. I too miss him everyday. I cant believe how many times a month I think I wish dad was here to share that with us or I would know he would be here celebrating or grieving with us or just listening to us. I miss his constant unconditional love and suupport in everything our family was doing. No matter where in the world I was Dad and Mom would show up to visit and support me. I loved that about him so much that we his children and family always felt that we were first in his life. I have so many memories and I am often sad that my children have not gotten to spend as much time with dad as I would have liked. I would have loved to talk to him about Allyson falling in his footsteps as she is completing her first year of medical school. She reminds me of him in her quiet dtermination and drive to reach her goals yet she is so kind hearted and willing to reach out to those around her.One memory I have of dad is the way he loved museums!!!( i have inhereited the same love of museums and I am always taking everyopportunity I can to take my children to them also) We went to so many and it was not a hurried event!! He loved to read every comment! It was interesting when all of us were there going at different paces but you could always count on dad being the last. I love that about him is constant thirst for knowledge. I love that he would think deeply about things and if you had a question he always had an answer that showed he truly cared about what you were thinking and wanted to share in that. I too remember him on the couch downstairs watching the news or Star Trek and snoozing but then I remember many many times he would come by my room and lay on my bed with me and we would talk and talk about anything I wanted. I miss him so so much that it is still so painful. I am so proud of him and I can hardly wait to run into his arms again. The plan of salvation is an amazing gift the Lord has given us!!!! I am excited that his thirst for knowledge is still being fullfilled as he is working on the other side. I have a vivid more recent memory about two years before he died. I am not sure that maybe even at that time he even knew that something was up and he might now be here as long as he would like. He and mom had taken Amtrack(I cant remember exactly why) and I had driven them to the station to put them on the train and to say goodbye. He gave me a big hug and looked me in the eyes and said,"Nola, you know that I love you, I just wanted you to hear it in words, I love you." and he gave me a big kiss. It was such a tender moment and one that I have remembered often. Even though his actions always shouted I LOVE YOU he felt a deep need to say the words. I will always remember that. It truly touched my heart. I have often felt sad that my kids were not able to grow up around him in Magrath. We have always been fo far away and visits home once a year and his and moms visits to us a few times a year were really not enough! I remember the day I left Canada after Wade and I were married I saw dad cry. It was heartbreaking and I sobbed all the way to the border(I am sure Wade was wondereing what was going on) but in hindsight I now know what his tears meant. I feel so honored to be able to call such a great and loving man MY DAD. I am forever greatful for the life lessons I learned from him. I love you dad!! So til later......... your loving baby daughter nola
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